In our story, David and I both had seasons when we refused to accept circumstances that were beyond our control. The result of our inability to surrender to “necessary suffering” brought even greater suffering at a level we never thought possible.
Our second suffering could have been avoided but it required acceptance of situations that, at the time, we were convinced needed to be different.
When we fight circumstances that are beyond our control we are setting ourselves up for compounded heartache, loss & horrendous regrets.
Say, circumstances require you to start a budget. It feels painful, to give up spending as you wish. But a greater & unnecessary suffering would be to keep spending beyond your means, fall into bankruptcy, lose everything, have to move in with friends which then puts such strain on your relationship that it never fully recovers after you move out.
Many addictions are the result of people trying to avoid that first place of difficulty. The suffering that comes from addiction is then spread to everyone in relationship with the addict.
If we had accepted the first suffering – the second would never have happened.
What are you pushing against, fighting, resisting, refusing to let be?
The problem comes when we believe all our fighting against something we don’t want will actually change the outcome.
The pain required to surrender to things beyond our control becomes small compared to the unnecessary suffering that happens as a result of needing the world to conform to our expectations. Save yourself unnecessary suffering in the future by releasing your need to control/ change/ fix the unpleasant/ unwanted situation you’re in today.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
(Francis of Assisi )
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