Nothing to Prove: Chapter 2: What We Know Now

by | Dec 7, 2015

The following is an excerpt from our new ebook that is available beginning today.  This book is a a very candid, behind the scenes look, at the journey of transformation that we’ve been on the last several years, and the things we’ve learned that can help change your life as well.


Chapter 2:  What We Know Now


You can never be other than who you are

until you are willing to embrace the reality of who you are.

David Benner

You don’t have to experience a tragedy like ours, or any other failure with a thousand different names, in order to identify the real root of your own internal issues. We hope it won’t come to that. Our purpose in writing this book is to help you avoid some of the ditches in your future if at all possible. Unfortunately, for many of us it often does take a serious trial, illness or loss to break us open enough to see parts of our life that aren’t working so well.

Each day, from the moment we wake up, to the time our head hits the pillow we live out of a story we’ve come to believe about our self.  This storyline thrives in our mind’s subconscious, which is why we’re often unaware of many of our own self-defeating patterns of behavior.

But just because you aren’t aware of it, have no doubt, the “story of you” is alive and well and it powerfully affects everything you do, say and think about yourself, others and -most importantly- God.

This story, these hidden beliefs you hold about yourself are the basis for what you believe is your identity.

The 64,000 Dollar Questions

Before you read further, pause here and think about how you would answer these two questions.

1) If you remove your job, your roles, your gender, your relationships, your titles, your possessions, your degrees, your achievements and failures…who would you say you are?

2) Without naming your family, the work you do, things you own, or a role you play in a primary relationship how would you describe yourself to someone you’ve just met?

Who we truly think we are will influence every decision and every reaction to every loss and every gain we’ll ever have. It will affect our perception of random events, family members, life long friends, the work we do, the accomplishments we strive for and even the failures we experience.

So, when you’re alone and no one’s looking, who do you really think you are?

We can’t say this strongly enough. Who you believe you are at your core impacts the quality and outcomes of your life on every single level.

The Teachers Are Clueless

As we look back, we thought we pretty much understood all we needed to know about our identity. After college David had spent four years in seminary and over the years we had both given countless talks and messages about who the scriptures say we are in Christ. While what we taught was true—our experience and understanding had not gone nearly far enough.

We were clueless about how much we actually did not know about the most significant aspects of our identity.  Sometimes, we were tempted to beat ourselves up. How did we not know this? But a wise person once said, “You can’t know what you just don’t know.”

After our world fell apart we needed a way to know each other and ourselves in a deeper, fuller way. Our old way of doing life had failed us in some pretty significant ways. Then, at the point of our greatest failure we stumbled into what for us would be the “Eureka!” of a lifetime.

Through scripture, our story, great counseling and teaching plus our own hunger to know more we are daily practicing proven steps to a path that can help you overcome much of the stress, anxiety, exhaustion and disillusionment you sometimes feel.

Whenever we share these concepts we see people begin to make internal shifts that profoundly impact the meaning, purpose, fulfillment, freedom, and enjoyment in their lives. And the more they practice the more benefits they report.

For us, where there was once frustration, discouragement, failure and incalculable loss has come a remarkable resurrection such that we now believe it may have been worth all the pain to gain all the goodness.


We hope the above excerpt has given you a brief taste of what’s inside our new ebook.  We’ve been told that this could be a game-changer for many people. Below is the link to purchase the book now.  After reading it, please let us know what was helpful to you.  We would also appreciate your sharing the link to purchase the book, with your friends and family and encourage them to get a copy today.

Click to purchase: “Nothing to Prove”








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